The Many Rules of Supernatural
by SupernaturallyKay
Summary: A list of rules that fans have learned from our favorite show, "Supernatural".
1. Chapter 1

**Hi everyone! This is a list that I started to make on Twitter with the help of my fellow Supernatural fans on the site. If anyone has any suggestions for new rules to be added to the list, feel free to send them to me. I plan to publish new "chapters" every so often (usually when I have at least 25 new rules to post). Hope you like them. **

"**Supernatural" Rules**

1. Supernatural is the best show on TV.

2. Sam & Dean are awesome.

3. Dean is always right. Because he's older.

4. Always pack provisions (aka peanut m&ms).

5. The driver picks the music, shotgun shuts their cake hole!

6. Layers of clothes + hot guys = bad idea. Please make the clothes go away.

7. Sam's puppy dog eyes make all the ladies melt. And that's how he gets away with things.

8. The apple pie must always be freakin' worth it.

9. Nobody messes with Dean's wheels. :D

10. Sam = bitch. Dean = jerk.

11. Only Dean gets to call Sam, Sammy.

12. Never give Sam burritos.. he gets gassy.

13. When Sam says "let's keep driving," one should keep driving!

14. Sam & Dean are even sexier wet, shirtless, or vulnerable.

15. There are Sam girls, Dean girls, and Sam/Dean girls. And the latter creeps the boys out.

16. When faced with the end of the world, one should imbibe copious amounts of alcohol and refer to the bad guys as ass-butts.

17. Watch what you say around a blind man with real sharp ears.

18. You can't kill death.

19. Never ever trust Meg.

20. Don't get zapped somewhere by an angel, you won't poop for a week.

21. Don't piss the nerdy angels

22. Know that nobody sleeps with their peepers open.

23. Never trust shady van guy over Sam.

24. Always sleep w a gun or knife under your pillow.

25. Being called an ass butt is considered a compliment in the "Supernatural" fandom.

26. Castiel makes trench coats cool.

27. Fat, dumb, and stupid is no way to go through life.

28. The only strangers u should allow in your house are Sam and Dean Winchester.

29. Sam and Dean made teddy bear doctors real.

30. Dean Winchester can and will save all naked woman.

31. Sam, Dean & "Supernatural" - scary just got sexy!

32. Dean Winchester can gank a whore.

33. Demons we get. People are crazy.

34. Never, ever, ever forget Dean's pie.

35. You can't rush perfection when it comes to posing as federal agents.

36. Always cover your tracks.

37. Shoot first, ask questions later.

38. Sacrificing is classier than killing.

39. Kripke is King.

40. Always watch out for Sammy.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Wow. I can't believe the amount of feedback I've gotten for this! You guys are awesome! Thanks to all who contributed ideas for new rules. I really appreciate it. You'll notice that I came up with a few of these last night during the repeat of "Free to Be You and Me". Hope you enjoy it! **

"**Supernatural" Rules**

**Part Two**

40. Always watch out for Sammy.

41. Demons lie! (very important)

42. Always leave the cheap motel room with a weapon of some kind.

43. No messin' with Chuck, his archangel will come down with some holy wrath on your butt.

44. Always carry paperclips in your pocket, just in case.

45. Always make sure you show your fake federal agent badge correctly (looks at Cas).

46. Never make Dean push you.

47. Remember that certain industries run on absent fathers.

48. Sam and Dean are never supposed to be separated. It's not natural.

49. Two Dean's are better than one.

50. When in doubt, use a classic rock alias.

51. Whatever the angels want, they get.

52. The Winchester family's dark spots are…dark.

53. Lucifer is an angel, not a demon.

54. It's always been Sam.

55. Angels can be douche bags.

56. Consent must be given before an angel can jump your bones.

57. Dean is wanted, dead or alive.

58. If you're gonna shoot, shoot. Don't talk.

59. If you want to trap John Winchester, use his boys as bait.

60. No chick-flick moments.

61. Contrary to popular belief, the only way to kill a vampire is by chopping its head off. Stakes and garlic are silly legends.

62. Library research is fun again, and Sam & Dean made it cool.

63. If you pull that string one more time, Sam is gonna kill you.

64. Never, ever ask what a demon does for fun.

65. Don't fear the reaper.

66. Hospitals are scary places; avoid them at all costs.

67. Daytime TV is horrible, so don't watch it.

68. Save Dean, save the world.

69. Angels have Daddy issues.

70. Always check your Halloween candy before you eat it.

71. When in doubt, turn to Bobby.

72. What's dead, should stay dead.

73. Don't be a dick; you could get infected with ghost-sickness and die.

74. Dean will not let his friends die a virgin.

75. Never pick paper.

76. Dean is Batman.

77. If it weren't for bad luck, the Winchester's would have no luck at all.

78. Always keep the rock salt, holy water, and silver bullets near by.

79. Led Zeppelin is the greatest band ever!

80. Planes crash and clowns kill…so never go to circus on an airplane.

81. Life sucks. Get a helmet.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: You guys are awesome! Thanks to all who reviewed, suggested rules, added me to your favorite story/author lists, and who are still reading! Special thanks goes out to Our Eleventh Hour, DaisyDuke80, Brie630, Yarg on Fanfiction & smiliemary, The_Dagda, maskedchick & DeanandDamonfan on Twitter for their rules. ****As always, if you send them to me, I will add them. **

**A/N: In a review from part two, someone pointed out to me that rule #75 should be "Never pick scissors", because that's what Dean always picks, and loses to Sam. That part is a little fuzzy from season 2's "Heart", but if anyone double-checks before me, please let me know and I will fix it. **

**"Supernatural" Rules**

**Part Three**

82. Sam is an encyclopedia of sexiness.

83. Sam cries his way through sex, wears make-up, and keeps a ruler by his bed.

84. Angels look better in trench coats

85. The 'Trickster' was never a trickster. He's an angel.

86. Always have a friend with a panic room.

87. Don't shrug it off when Castiel says he is an angel. He'll zap you some where or show you his wings.

88. When Cas says don't look at his true form listen or your eyes will burn out.

89. Never say Bloody Mary in the mirror if you have a dark secret.

90. Castiel's big blue eyes can make you believe in angels.

91. Endings are hard- but then again- nothing ever really ends.

92. The Impala is not only an awesome car- but home.

93. Little green army men and the love of brothers can save the world and fight off the Devil

94. Up against good, evil, angels, devils, destiny, and God himself - make your own choices. Choose family.

95. Kick it in the **! (RIP Kim)

96. If you're a recurring female character, better start picking out you're burial plot now.

97. Dean can make an EMF detector out of an old walkman.

98. You can't shoot people in public. Not even Bela.

99. Sammy is a happy drunk.

100. Demon blood makes you hot.

101. Never let Dean use your computer. It'll freeze on .

102. If you've seen a lot of horror movies, and they've told you that a place is haunted…don't go in.

103. Even low-sodium freaks should have _some_ kind of salt in their house. Just in case.

104. If you don't take care of Dean's wheels, he's gonna haunt your ass.

105. Witches are gross because they're always spewing body fluids all over the place.

106. Salt, gasoline, match. Repeat.

107. Dean always gets the extra cookie.

108. Honesty isn't always the best policy.

109. A gym whistle will make you a God in high school PE.

110. Babe Ruth was a dick, but baseball is still a beautiful game.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thanks again to all who have reviewed and added this story to their alerts. I really appreciate it and am thrilled that you guys love it so much! I try to keep the rules as interesting as possible, but as I rewatch seasons 1-4, I'll probably come up with more. As always, please keep sending me any rules you'd like me to add here. You know I'll be happy to do it.**

**A/N: Special thanks goes out to Suuz112, DaisyDuke80, Our Eleventh Hour, Meplusmoon, & Samgirl19. Thank you all for the suggestions.**

**"Supernatural" Rules**

**Part Four**

111. Ruby is a demonic ***. :3

112. The best moments are when the boys cry

113. When dean cries the world cries.

114. Never tell Bella you have lottery tickets.

115. Never tell anyone your real last name.

116. Have fake IDs in your trunk/glove department and keep them updated.

117. Always have time to stop for some pie.

118. If a demon says they can help you save Dean from hell, don't listen and gank them.

119. Always have spare shoes handy in case you lose one.

120. Don't get Dean mad or he'll knock you out.

121. Don't ever forget Dean's pies or he will come after you.

122. If the fans like your character, get ready to be killed.

123. If your sink fills up with nasty water, do not stick your hand down the drain.

124. One way to describe the Winchester boys: one leather jacket, one Sasquatch.

125. Another way to describe the Winchester boys: sexy BAMFs.

126. Cas is funny when he's drunk.

127. Bow hunting is an important skill.

128. It's hard to believe that there's good and evil out there especially when you've seen what evil does to good people.

129. If you think a situation sucks out loud, it usually does.

130. Yorkies pee when they're nervous.

131. Don't be afraid of Donny. It's Marie you have to worry about.

132. Be careful how many Romero flicks you watch.

133. It takes two to, ya know, have hard-core sex.

134. Always put the devil's trap in place beforehand.

135. Be careful what you wish for.

136. Credit card fraud isn't easy.

137. Classic Chevy's are still cherry when they're 40...especially if Dean owns it.

138. Never, ever, ever lose possession of the Colt.

139. It's always funnier in Enochian.

140. If your parents are out of town & it's been a rough 4 months, drink a liquor store.

141. Stay away from Lloyd's bar.

142. If someone goes over Niagara in a barrel, don't jump in after them.

143. Always follow your instincts.

144. Sam & Dean: bringing sexy back.

145. Male angels are jug-less down there, like a Ken doll.

146. When in doubt, use a Ouija board.

147. Carry on my wayward son.

148. Don't cuss at Missouri.

149. Never accept a beer from someone you don't know for fear of African dream root.

150. Whenever the hellatus gets bad, fans rely on their fan fiction, live-journal, and Twitter families to get through it.

151. You will never beat Dean at pool, poker, or darts.

152. Bunnies always get screwed in the deal.

153. Unicorns don't shoot rainbows out of their asses.

154. Unicorns don't even exist.

155. Big Foot is a hoax.

156. Team Free Will fights to the very end.

157. Chicago's deep-dish pizza is awesome…at least according to Death.

158. Sam and Dean are even sexier in tuxes.

159. Sam and Dean do NOT work for the mandroid.

160. It's not the mandroid. It's never the mandroid.

161. Dean is not a cheeseburger.

162. Death is a nice guy, but don't mess with him. Approach with caution.

163. Never, ever, ever throw our you amulet. (This means you, Dean!)

164. Never, ever, ever lose your character's silver ring. (This means you, Jensen!)

165. If you open the devil's cage, never jump into the giant hole in the ground.

166. Tell your children if you have a kid with another woman. Don't let them find out years later.

167. Play cards in prison is like picking low-hanging fruit.

168. Dead chicks can run.

169. If you go down, go down swingin'.

170. Don't pick a Volkswagen van over a '67 Chevy.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Wow. These rules are coming fast and furious now! Keep 'em coming! As we near the 200th rule, it might get harder to come up with some. Then again, maybe not so much. I know this one is really short, but I had to get it out becuase I don't know when I will be updating next. Nevertheless, I hope you like it. **

**A/N: Special thanks again to Meplusmoon, daisyduke80, XeroPrime, Samgirl19, and OurEleventhHour for their contributions. **

**"Supernatural" Rules**

**Part Five**

171. Never believe the hotel owner has two daughters until you meet them both.

172. Never crash into the Impala. Unless you want a Colt pointed at your head.

173. Every monster, every nightmare is real. Except Godzilla.

174. Don't give angels pain medication. they will get addicted.

175. Never trust a scarecrow.

176. You can never just 'quit' hunting.

177. The job follows you no matter what.

178. If you spill something in the Impala, be prepared to run from Dean.

179. If angels want to talk to you in private, they'll visit you in your dreams.

180. Don't mess with the impala unless you want to live.

181. Don't mess with Sam if you have a death wish.

182. If you see a Winchester, walk the other direction.

183. If you're next to a Winchester, you better say bye-bye to your life.

184. The back of the impala is a good place to make love with Dean.

185. Never pick up a hitch hiker who wears white.

186. Kneel before Todd!

187. Dean's so sexy, shape shifters are jealous of all his fine qualities.

188. Everyone has skeletons in their closet, both literal and figurative.

189. Some alarm systems are like boobs on a man…useless.

190. Sam and Dean were named after their grandparents on Mary's side…Samuel and Deanna.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thanks to all who have read, reviewed and added me to their lists! I really appreciate it. A special thanks goes out to those who've contributed for Part Six: Kitten-in-the-Skyy, Melrose5553, PwnedByPineapple, daisyduke80, brie630, meplusmoon, ClancyBaggins, and Samgirl19. You guys are awesome! **

**"Supernatural" Rules**

**Part 6**

191. Family is everything.

192. Sam is a really handsy drunk.

193. Donuts are not love.

194. Cigarettes are the currency of the prison realm.

195. The things you learn about a guy: Sam prays…everyday.

196. Never point a gun at a Winchester; it will stop working, or get a pen in it

197. Cas is definitely one BAMF.

198. Family don't end with blood.

199. Don't Molotov Lucifer's brother. No one dicks with Michael except him.

200. Dean tastes good! According to him anyway.

201. The music video of "Eye of The Tiger" should start out with Dean's dance.

202. Another name for a zombie is Stinky.

203. Sam feels your pain- you brave little soldier and you are just to precious for this world.

204. If you are a girl, just leave. Now. Before you get possessed, eaten, killed, and/or all of the above.

205. Sleep with Dean—his women tend to survive relatively unscathed.

206. Failing that, sleep with Sam—you'll probably die horribly, but at least you'll have slept with Sam.

207. Uriel's the funniest angel in the garrison.

208. Half-café, double vanilla latte's are to be mocked.

209. Dean thinks his adorable, Agent Henricksen disagrees.

210. Dean likes people who say okie dokie.

211. The most troubling question is, "Why do these people assume the Winchesters are gay?".

212. MySpace is some sort of porn site.

213. Agent Henricksen didn't shoot the deputy.

214. French fries are like deep fried crack.

215. A P.A is kinda like a slave.

216. John Winchester can barely work a toaster.

217. If you want to be a hunter be sure to watch a lot of T.J Hooker.

218. No one has written a demon-detox manual as far as Bobby knows.

219. Giving a child a .45 when they are scared of the thing in their closet isn't correct parenting.

220. If you wake up in an abandon town your doomed

221. Watch \out for Andy (meaning dean)

222. Never turn your back on someone who you were fighting with.

223. Don't leave a weapon lying around so some one can use it. (meaning Sam)

224. When making wishes you better realize it will come out bad. (yeah, Dean)

225. There's some stuff that you just file under bull crap…and prior to season 4, angels were under that category in Dean's eyes.

226. There's a lot more lore about angels than any other thing the Winchesters have hunted.

227. If you ever get Sam & Dean behind bars, do everything in your power to keep them there.

228. If Dean hears "Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore", it'll get stuck in his head and he'll sing it in the car.

229. Two beers and Sammy's doing karaoke.

230. Sam and Dean hunt things that want to kill them.

**A/N: The last rule is from "Yellow Fever" when Dean goes on his amusing rant to Sam near the Impala. I think it's hysterical. Thanks to PeytonisBatman for helping me out on this one. "We hunt monsters! Who DOES that? Normal people, they see a monster, and they run, but not us, oh, no no no- we HUNT things that want to kill us! You wanna know who does that? CRAZY PEOPLE! We...are insane!" xD**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hey! Thanks to all who read, reviewed and added this story to their "Favorites" list. The feedback is awesome & I greatly appreciate it. Special thanks goes out to meplusmoon, Danielle Redfern, 9Tiptoes, brie630, XeroPrime, OurEleventhHour, Samgirl19, and daisyduke80 for their contributions to this part. We're almost at 300 so keep them coming! **

**A/N: I do not own "Supernatural". **

**"Supernatural" Rules**

**Part 7**

231. If you make a deal with Crowley, he will probably get picture proof.

232. Dean doesn't care if your an angel or not he'll stab you in the face

233. Don't forget that they hunt things that like to kill them AND eat them.

234. Bobby is not a ditchable prom date.

235. Dean Winchester is an Aquarius. He enjoys sunsets, long walks on the beach, and frisky women.

236. Dean always get to stay with the girl because he's older. Unless Sam wins rock-paper-scissors.

237. Stay Real.

238. Nobody wants to deal with a ticked off Dean Winchester.

239. Don't trust Ava Wilson.

240. Dean will always 'be there for' Sam, even if he's getting the crap beat out of him by Lucifer himself.

241. Sam is hot when evil.

242. Never get involved with the boys during prank season.

243. If you sleep or hang out with Sam, then your signing your own life away, but hey, you got to hang with Sam.

244. Rock, paper, scissor, shoot sometimes solves things

245. The impala is the coolest car

246. Castiel LOVES hamburgers cause they make him happy!

247. Cas is just like Dean with the whole father thing. Blind faith.

248. Witches are whores.

249. Don't ask stupid questions.

250. No one can resist the blue steel.

251. Love is a'67 Impala.

252. Towels are evil.

253. Leg guitar is more epic than air guitar.

254. My TV boyfriend is hotter than yours.

255. Dean hates to be a pain in the pooper.

256. Ghandi was a great man...for a smurf.

257. If you see your breath & it's not cold out, something bad is goin' down.

258. Stay the f**k away from James Dean's car.

259. That fabric softener teddy bear is a little bitch and must be hunted down.

260. Lollipop disease can only be cured by teddy bear doctors.


End file.
